I want to introduce you to someone: this little gal in the handdrawn picture is PhDgirl. She is my alter-ego, my superhero other. She can write and think and come up with ideas and connections and put it all together like a pro. See the LBD she is wearing, and the cute shoes? The swinging red gown and the funny red hat? She is at her PhD graduation. It’s April 2014. She is thinner and more toned than I am now, having taken up Pilates and stopped eating so much chocolate. She is fabulous and clever and accomplished. She is Dr Clarence. She is the main character in my PhD fantasies.
This post is about PhD fantasies and why they can be useful, and good to nurture. They give you a goal, an endpoint in what can sometimes seem like an endless process. They give you something to focus on and push towards; a positive beacon. Maybe your fantasy is that the next time someone says ‘Is that Mrs or Miss?’ and you are a Ms, you can say “Actually, it’s Dr’. And then smile a slightly smug smile (you have earned that small bit of smugness, really). Maybe it’s being addressed as ‘Dr’ by a colleague in front of others who perhaps have not yet given you the credit you deserve and have earned. Maybe it’s that graduation ceremony, and hearing your name called out and having a lovely, and hopefully flattering, paragraph read out about your research and the contribution it has made to your field; being handed the scroll and having it framed and hanging on your wall. Maybe it’s a change in your email signature. Maybe it’s a fantasy about getting really great reports from examiners full of praise, and, if there must be corrections, constructive and helpful feedback. Maybe it’s an improbable but oh-so-fabulous verdict from examiners of ‘pass with no corrections’.
I have had all of these PhD fantasies from time to time. They can be distracting, as most fantasising can be if you let it be, and if you think about these things too much rather than actually working on the PhD that will make your fantasies a reality. But they encourage me and push me on, especially on the days when I really just want to nap instead of writing or thinking or reading. I recommend nurturing a few of your own. Keep them for rainy, gloomy days when you need a point in the future to focus on, to keep you plodding on. I also highly recommend a superhero alter-ego – they are there inside you anyway. Give them a name and channel all those superpowers when you need to push on and keep going in the face of work and tiredness and family and all of the stuff that life throws your way. Have fun with your fantasies. And don’t feel guilty about the inevitable procrastination that they will bring about – everyone needs a wander into fantasy-land every now and then.
PhDgirl over and out :-).
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